Ah, the psychology of women and men, and why they think, act and behave so differently; one of life’s greatest mysteries, eh? Or like John Gray’s book suggests, women might as well be from Venus and men from Mars.
I’ve always been very intrigued about the psyche of women and men, especially pertaining to their physical and emotional needs. Unlike women, men typically tend to be more insensitive and unemotional when it comes to expressing their feelings, only because being open or expressive is considered to be a sign of “weakness,” which further conveys the notion that men who display emotions are “unmanly.” However, that does not imply that he is devoid of any feelings or emotions at all. Some men just have very different ways of expressing themselves than women. And some women, well, just have a bit of trouble comprehending this fact. Women believe that if they express their love so openly to their men, then it is automatically expected that the men do the same in return.
Nevertheless, this is far from reality. Men (who truly love their women) tend to be more action-oriented, while women, on the other hand, have a tendency to be more verbal; meaning men SHOW their feelings by going out of their way to do something nice for their women; even if he doesn’t tell her that she’s “beautiful” or that he “loves” her a million and one times a day. Whereas women, on the other hand, are more taken with words and I hate to say this, material things. They want to be told that they’re loved, that they’re beautiful, etc. – in other words – they constantly crave attention from the men that they love because they want to be acknowledged. I think the worst thing for a man to do is ignore his woman, or else it will indeed be a recipe for disaster. (Though, I don’t mean to generalize, for not ALL women demand constant attention from their husbands/partners, but there are some who do.)
Is it a matter of too much testosterone or too much estrogen?
Obviously, men have more testosterone (male hormones) and women have more estrogen (female hormones), which thus places a heavy emphasis on why they act and behave the way they do. It’s true that the more testosterone one has, the less is the likelihood that they’ll be overly emotional. And if one notices, men who have a lot of estrogen have a tendency to be a little, um, sensitized than their typical equivalent.
Women, on the other hand, are designed to be more in tune with their emotional side, which explains why they are nurturers by nature; hence the reason why children become so attached to them as they grow up. The reason is because the mother spends the majority of her time raising and taking care of the kids, as opposed to the father. As a result, women are slightly better at responding to the emotional needs of their children, as they are more emotionally fecund than their male counterparts. However, this does not mean that men can’t take care of their kids or anything like that; it’s quite the contrary actually.
And then, of course, there are those women who constantly turn to their friends for moral support. It’s very true that most women do that because, like I said earlier, women want to be ACKNOWLEDGED, so when their husbands ignore them or don’t treat them the way they WANT to be treated, they turn to their friends for support – to help them fill in that void. And we all know that friends are hardly ever neutral, they will ALWAYS take your side, even if you are to blame. So, I guess most women find comfort and reassurance when they are told that they are right and their men are wrong for treating them unfairly.
However, in my opinion, I don’t think one should seek advice from friends simply because they are extremely biased. It’s better to talk to your significant other about your problems and if he isn’t ready to talk about them, then give him some space and time. Men are not usually confiders and seek solutions on their own. They may distance from the woman for a few days, but that doesn’t mean that he has no feelings or emotions. Men just have a very different way of dealing with issues/situations than women. And we, women, need to be a bit more accepting and immune to that. We can’t always have things OUR way and think that just because we are emotional, our men should also be the same way. It messes up the whole balance. Hence, the way men and women are designed is simply to complement each other and to create and maintain a balance.
Anyway, I may sound like a couples’ therapist, but rest assured, I am not. Far from it, actually. Though, being married for a while now, I can tell from experience that I, as a very independent, self-reliant woman can’t always have things MY way. I now live for two people. What I do impacts my husband, and vice-versa. This is not to imply that I don’t have my freedom to do whatever I want, of course. No, that is not the case. At all. Rather, I am more conscious now than I ever was before, while, at the same time, maintaining my freedom. We try to be considerate of eachother, and our feelings towards eachother. What many couples don’t realize is that you don’t always HAVE to compromise nor constantly make sacrifices in order to please the person you love. All you truly need to master is the ability to see eye-to-eye (or meet common ground) without feeling pressurized to please. I think some couples get so caught up in this game of constantly trying to please, that they end up losing their individuality. And that is when most relationships begin to crumble.
But, anyway, these are just some of my thoughts with regards to the differences between men and women. Perhaps I could be overanalyzing, for it could just simply be a matter of psychology and a little bit of hormones.