Pre-post: Words cannot explicate how much I LOVE this article and how deeply I can relate to it too. I am so sick and tired of women who strongly carry and adopt the “I am a feminist” label, and then look down, ridicule, or insult those of us who just can’t seem to relate to the label, even if we are “feminist-y” in the things we do, write, and preach.
I just feel that one doesn’t NEED labels in order to feel empowered and bring about/make a difference. Labels create too much arrogance and animosity to the point that it becomes like a cult of sorts, where if one takes on the label, they are loved and praised, and if one doesn’t, then they are shunned and treated with disrespect. And that’s something I absolutely refuse to ever partake in or be a part of.
If one wants to call themselves a feminist, because they really and truly believe that it “empowers” them and allows them to connect with other women in deep and meaningful ways — well, then, good! #claps. BUT, I really don’t appreciate it when these same women, who claim to be “feminists,” discriminate, talk against, and put down those (other women, of course) who refuse to take on the label, or ANY label, for that matter. Stop ruining feminism for yourself and for everyone else! There’s a reason why you’ve taken on the label, and there are reasons why others have not. Stop wanting everyone to agree and go along with everything YOU believe in, otherwise it makes you a tyrant and a bully. Not everyone is the same. And not everyone needs labels in order to work towards gender equality. And just because I, and many others, haven’t adopted the label does NOT, by any means at all, mean that we are against feminism or that we don’t support, respect, or praise it. Believe me, I am so incredibly grateful for all those strong women who fought for our rights; so, SO grateful. So, stop assuming. Stop judging. And stop being a bully. It’s time we all practiced what we preached, and just learned to live and let live.
Anyway, read and re-read this beautiful, spiritual and deeply introspective piece, especially if you are one of those superficial/materialistic “radfems” who feel that every single woman (and man) on earth should call themselves a “feminist,” because YOU think those of us who don’t are “stupid,” “ignorant,” and “misunderstood.” I am sure it will serve as some excellent food for your narrow minds 🙂
Read the original post here.
Why I Don’t Call Myself A “Feminist” ~ On Sacred Femininity In A Modern World
by Morgan Potts
When I first started teaching wisdom of the sacred feminine, and opening up the conversation about our blood, embracing our cycles and womanly power, I had a lot of mixed feedback. At first, most women seemed interested, even fascinated with what I had to say. Some women were confused and didn’t quite get what I was doing. Then there were people who asked me this: “Oh, so you’re wiccan/pagan/a witch?”
Though… I do think all women have a spicy, magical witchiness to them… — no, not the point.
And another chunk of women often say, “Oh, so you’re a feminist? ”
Well, not quite that, either.
There seems to be an eagerness to put a name on what I do, and there seems to be some misunderstandings that come along with it.
While most of these ladies, coming from different viewpoints, mindsets and conscious places often gave it all a shot, and open up to these ideas, of course some realized it wasn’t quite for them. And this seemed to be especially true with the ladies who joined the conversation thinking I was into teaching these womanly topics in a specifically “feminist” way. Once these women got a better grasp on what exactly it is that I’m all about, many of them were a little turned off. (Not all, but some). I started hearing things like “Oh, but that’s not very feminist!” Or, “But you’re excluding so many other types of women who aren’t like “this” or “that.”
And when I hear feedback like this, I think, “Ahhh, but I’m not really trying to BE feminist. That’s not what I feel my work is about, really. I’m teaching femininity, not feminism, but they could totally coincide.” And of course, for some ladies, they do.
Its almost like feminism is the worldly expression of these teachings, and that what I sing is a more inward, and spiritual song.
While I’m obviously all about the empowerment of women, teaching ladies to own their power, their strengths and feminine abilities, my work tends to be aimed more toward embracing the strengths we have as women, and not towards showing our equality to men. To me, men and women are so so very different. And we each have our own powers and strengths. It’s about masculinity and femininity, the rhythm of the energy we were born with more of. And the world needs both to be balanced and harmonious. Not one is better than the other.
No doubt we should all be respected, but it’s okay that we’re different.
While it is entirely possible for women to do all the things men can do, just as good (or better) I think it’s important for us to acknowledge our differences. My work is about embracing our womanly qualities, understanding, loving, and tapping into the wisdom that our female bodies have to offer—if in fact we want to. Our menstrual cycle is a built in time for our bodies to detoxify, rest, rejuvenate, and most importantly – to open up to the mysteries and wisdom that is available to us during these times of intuitive connectedness.
Why do you think we naturally feel tired and meditative during the days leading up to our cycles? For so long women have fought against this fatigue, to prove to the world that “yes, we can do it.” But maybe it’s time to slow down, and honor what our bodies have to say, and to open up to all that is there for us to hear. I think it’s time to finally embrace the parts of us that we cannot change (and hopefully LOVE it), and live naturally comfortable within our bodies. It’s too exhausting to do anything else.
So much of feminism has been about pushing through, pressing on, and toughing it out. (Think Rosie). And while I admire these qualities, and they certainly are important during certain times of our lives, I think there is an important piece of the puzzle that is missing here. There has to be a balance between this tough stuff and time for nurturing reflection.
I’ve read, seen and watched other women be really expressive about their cycles, but in a very different way than I am. I’ve heard some ladies speak openly about their bleeding, but with saying “A little blood won’t stop me! Look at me, my underwear is stained and there’s blood on my hands, I could run a fucking marathon if I wanted to.” But while I’m sitting there, nodding my head, I’m thinking, “Yes, I know you could do that, and ooh that blood is powerful, but it’s not an obstacle to overcome!!”
Our time of bleeding isn’t a week to cringe and get through. It shouldn’t be a “tough it out” situation. It’s a moment to embrace, and honor. And this really does affect us in profound ways.
I believe that our blood is a gift, and that it has so much to offer. Even the simple fact that our cycle “forces” us to slow down is a blessing. We need our rest. Getting rest is what makes us stronger, taking care of our bodies is what keeps us powerful and wise.
But we gotta slow down.
I am opening up this conversation, and writing these words to be sure that I’m not misunderstood. It’s not that I’m offended about so often being automatically filed into the feminist department, it’s just that I want to be absolutely sure that everyone here knows what it is that I’m teaching. I want it to be clear that what I teach might not always match up with that title, and that it’s just fine that way.
I am not against feminism, feminists or the work these ladies are doing. I am absolutely supportive of the rights of women, and our equal respect in society, this is clear.
It is simply the almost mimicking of men that many of us have become that I am teaching against. We don’t have to show the world how “like” men we are to show how capable we are, and I feel that this is what much of feminism has turned into over the years, whether it’s conscious or not. And it is for reasons like this that I have never really felt that I am a “feminist.”
**And I know, that inherently, feminism is not at all this way, and that not all feminists believe, or act in this way** It is just that so many women who do identify with the term “feminist” do, indeed, act in this way, and in fact they are now a part of this world that I am discussing now.
What I teach is how to be fully accepting of, empowered by, and in love with the bodies and strengths that we do naturally have as women. And to me, this means knowing when to slow down, knowing how to listen to our bodies, our hearts and the earth, and being completely open and proud of who we are and what feels natural to us. This is what it means to live divinely feminine, and this is what I teach.
Now don’t get me wrong, what feels womanly, and feminine for you is not for me to decide. I’m not saying you need to wear dresses and have long hair and well groomed eyebrows and armpits. I’m saying that whatever makes you feel sacred, beautiful and alive in your own body is what you should do. To some of us it may look like that, and to others it may be a bit more wildish, untamed and rugged. There are many types of women, and all of us are beautiful. Living in your femininity simply means not being afraid to express whatever it is that makes you feel strong and beautiful. To me this means living like a goddess, and expressing myself physically in a way that make me feel comfortable and attractive, alluring and magical, but with a little touch of wildness, lots of mystery and curiosity. I love to adorn myself with jewels and flowers, fragrant and intoxicating oils, necklaces, earrings. I let my hair grow wild all over my body, and it feels so natural and beautiful to me. But for you it might look very different. And that’s okay.
Since we have been trying to prove ourselves worthy to men for so long (from the original oppression that began to take place), I feel there has been a point where this turned into hiding our femininity — for fear that it shows weakness or incapability. And for many years I lived in this same way. I too moved through and toughed it out, I thought it was normal, expected. And when I began to feel out what felt natural, instead of what was expected, things started to look very different for me. My goal here is to help show women this sacredness inside them, how to express it, and how to be proud of it, whatever it means for them.
Femininity does not have to mean feminism. This inner work is about falling in love with your self and the wisdom inside you. And though living in this way would undoubtedly change our society, our world and our interactions in amazing and beautiful ways, it is completely for the woman doing it. Ultimately, you do this work for you.
In writing this article I intend simply to display that there are some differences between these two f words that need to be talked about more readily. And it’s not wrong, or bad that the things I teach don’t always seem “feminist” or “politically correct,” because part of the natural aspect of womanliness is this wildness. This messiness, this bloody, animalistic mysteriousness. Women are so dynamic, there is so much to us, and this is what I love and admire. And this is the woman who has been hiding, behind the shadows, underneath thick skin, begging to come out. And it might just be the balance our society needs. It’s time to stop being so afraid, and let our wild nature show ~ no matter what people call it.
And to those of you who might say “Oh! According to this, it sounds like you ARE a feminist to me!,” even if I “fit” into all the descriptions of what it means to be authentically “feminist,” it is simply a title I have never identified with.
So here’s to our many similarities and differences, we all have something to say, we all have something to teach, and I very much appreciate you all. We might simply express our work differently. And like most things, we have more about us that is alike than different. And to my feminist loves, clients, and sisterly colleagues, keep rocking it. The world needs every word we teach. We each work with the women we are best able to teach, who feel drawn to our own unique words – and these might not be quite the same. xo
Sending you all so much love
Ladies, if there is any doubt, confusion or questions about what I write, speak or teach, simply ask, reach out and I will reach back. I invite you to share this article with anyone you feel may connect with these words. Bless you.